taking steps

It’s difficult to put into words. I have this “pressure” in my chest that feels as if it wants to burst out, but I’m not sure how to release it.  I wonder if this is what anxiety feels like.  I’ve never really been truly anxious for anything before, so maybe this is what it feels like.

Is stepping out in faith easier than continuing on in faith?  Abraham took a step of faith as he left behind his people, country, and family.  Was the decision to do that easier than the daily decision to continue on in faith?  He was continually confronted with difficult decisions.  Should he turn and go back or keep moving forward?  The Bible provides many such stories of faith.  Consider the example of the apostles.  They left everything…EVERYTHING…to follow Jesus.  Everyday they had to make a decision of faith, do I continue or do I return to what I know?  Jesus is taken from them and killed.  I cannot fathom the crisis of faith that they must of felt at that time.  But we know the rest of the story, that God raised him to life three days after his death where he was seen again by the apostles and many other people and left this world in a cloud to return to his rightful place in heaven.  And so, the apostles continued in faith.

Dana and I have been on our own faith journey.  We’ve taken each day, each moment of difficulty, by putting one foot in front of the other taking steps in the direction of faith to serve as full time missionaries in Ghana, West Africa.  The “easy” steps of faith are behind us and the difficult steps of faith are ahead.  I think part of the feeling in my chest is that I’ve looked too far ahead.  Rather than keeping my eyes down and taking daily steps, I’ve looked up and seen what’s ahead and that feeling is anxiousness.  It’s the anxiousness of:

  • Is this really happening?
  • What if I fail?
  • Can I really make a difference?
  • Will I be accepted?
  • How will I handle conflict?
  • Can I learn the language?
  • If I fail, what will I do then?

This is all part of our transition and as we move through the stages of transition we are grateful for scripture that reminds us to keep our eyes down and taking small daily steps not looking to what lies ahead.  And so today we pack, this weekend we rest, Tuesday & Wednesday we travel, step-by-step-by-step…

 Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. – Matthew 6:34

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2 Responses to Step-by-Step-by-Step….

  1. Chris and Dana,

    This post reminds me of those characteristics you portrayed, when I first starting attending our small group Bible study, that helped me grow in my faith. Your willingness to show vulnerability really allows others to see how God is working in and through you; therefore, it helps others trust Him with their own lives. During the time I was privileged to be Dana’s accountability partner, I was able to really witness this. Another benefit of your willingness is that it has helped me to better know how to pray for you. Plus, there are a whole lot of people that are excited to see what God does through your ministry in Ghana because you have allowed us to be part of it in so many ways and we know you will continue to do so. I have no doubt you’re on the right track with the right frame of mind. Just keep focused on obeying God and He will take care of the rest.

    Thanks for posting the scripture from Matthew. I love the sixth chapter of Matthew because it helps me remember how much God loves me and it keeps me humble. It also reminds me of what God has done for me, will continue to do for me, and how I should be living my life in response.

    Love you both tons, Pauline

  2. TeamHolloway says:

    Thanks Pauline! 🙂

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